[Part of him thinks the better thing would be to let Kaneki come here on his own, but it's cold enough that this will lead to a whole host of problems.
The city's big enough maybe things won't immediately go to shit.]
Alright, sure.
I'll meet you there.
[He, will too. It's better than having Tsukiyama act dramatic and lock himself away the entire day.]
[When it comes to the histrionic shitfit that's sure to come...no, that will likely come tomorrow, thank you very much; right now, his priorities are honestly elsewhere.
But even with those priorities in place, he'll be a little late; it's cold as hell out here, and frankly he wasn't dressed for it earlier. Even now, he's still not dressed for it, if the way the cold seems to be getting to him is any indication - either that, or he's just severely worked up. Either way, his hands are trembling a little and so is his breath as it leaves his chest, and his face is slightly flushed with cold and he's trying very, very hard to not mess with his lapels.
He's a bit jumpy, is the point. Maybe more than "a bit".]
Banjou-san - it's good of you to come out here.
[With any luck, this won't dissolve into blood and screaming.]
[He's not entirely surprised with Tsukiyama. He can take his time, that's fine. Banjou's willing to be patient for Kaneki's sake, because it would be preferable for everyone if he didn't die from exposure to the elements.
If Tsukiyama knows something he doesn't, it'll make things easier. Probably.
He looks cold, but he's slightly less serious than usual, if only because he's currently worried about Kaneki.]
Of course. Do you have something in mind? How to help Kaneki, I mean.
[Tsukiyama just nods after a moment, running a hand through his hair and forcing himself to smile, because there's no need to be unpleasant about all of this as long as the job is getting done.]
There's a postal service here - it uses flying Pokémon. They can't transport people, obviously, but that's not a problem; if anything, it ensures that deliveries are carried out much faster than using Fly, since there isn't the added weight of a human rider bearing them down.
They can easily transport other Pokémon, however, assuming they're in their balls.
[He pauses for a moment, his hand shifting from his hair to play with his lapels.]
There are other Pokémon in the grass here that can teleport. If a human orders it, it will bring both itself and the trainer to the last Center it was healed at. So if we catch one and heal it here, then send it to Kaneki-kun via flight...it'll work, I've verified it with some of my contacts. He can be here within a day's time, assuming that everything works out.
[...That's so convoluted he never would have thought of it. But his face brightens.]
That's... it could work.
[It would keep Kaneki safe. There wouldn't be any need for him to spend days on the road, or be stuck in Cherrygrove until the spring. Of course, the problem is what they're going to have to catch.
[So out in the tall grass he goes. It's not like Banjou still only has two Pokemon. He has experience catching them, but he's also never tried to catch a Pokemon that can teleport itself away.
Wandering around in the grass trying to flush out an Abra in front of Tsukiyama is more embarrassing than anything else. They're not an easy Pokemon to catch if you're not incredibly quick, after all.
...and that would be why the first one he encounters bolts away almost immediately.]
[Tsukiyama is bouncing a little in place while Banjou...attempts to work his magic on the local Abra population, but that doesn't mean he isn't watching, and if anything he seems really, really amused, um.]
Do you have anything that can put it to sleep, perhaps?
[Wow, really? Pretty much everything early on learns Sleep Powder or something...but then, Banjou didn't start actually battling until he was already - oh, for hell's sake.
After a moment, he tosses a Pokéball in Banjou's general direction; hopefully Banjou's reflexes aren't crap, because in that case he's going to be dealing with a nine-foot anaconda way before he really wants to be, but either way, he's getting Alessia for the next few minutes.
...She's going to be so mad at him for trading her, even temporarily, but he'll deal with that once they're back inside.]
She's not a Psychic-type, but she does know Wrap; it'll prevent escape. She's also high-leveled enough that she should move well before the Abras you find do.
[Banjou catches it deftly, staring at the Pokeball carefully.]
Okay. Let's try this again.
[He steps back into the grass again, attracting the attention of either a different Abra, or more likely, the same one teleporting itself back into his field of vision.
Let's hope he doesn't suddenly have a pissed off snake after him in his general direction, because he presses the button to release Alessia.]
[...Well, she seems a little confused, but not like she's going to take your head off. I mean, there is a good amount of "...Well, now what" involved, but Alessia has always been the sort to be a good snake like you wanted. (Or a good snake like you didn't want at the time and came to want later, if her relationship with her trainer is anything to judge by, because holy shit did Tsukiyama want nothing to do with that snake for well over a week.)
That said, it doesn't take her long to realize that oh, there's a battle situation here, and that sure is an Abra. She is at a type disadvantage but also goddamn level 80, so let's fuckin' go.]
[And with any luck, the overpowered snake is going to make sure the damn Abra can't teleport away.
...this is really the most ridiculous idea. Maybe Banjou should do more research into status effects since there's obviously a lot he needs to actually work on here.]
We are trying to get an overpowered snake to suplex a teleporting fox into submission so we can mail it to our amnesiac friend such that he doesn't freeze to death because he was transported to another dimension in the middle of winter and the insane woman that thinks she's his mom didn't even have the common decency to give him matches.
If you can find any part of this entire situation that isn't ridiculous, please let him know.
That said, Alessia is going to be the best snake ever. The best goddamn snake. This Abra is going to throw a shitfit but at least it is...um. Well, it's there. That is more than can be said for most Abra involved in a battle for more than five seconds.]
[Ge thought his life was one surreal event after another before arriving in Johto. It hasn't gotten worse, exactly, because for it to get worse, Johto would have to become a nightmarish hellscape.
...hopefully that doesn't happen, mind. Things are enough of a mess right now.
He pulls out a spare Pokeball to capture the Abra. It can hate him all it wants as long as it gets in the Pokeball and stays there so he can mail it to Kaneki.]
[...You know, the dumb thing is that we'll know if it's going to turn into a nightmare hellscape if Rize shows up. Rize is the common uniting factor in that she showed up in our lives and everything immediately went straight to shit.
That said, this Abra is surprisingly not going to prove to be the reason we have trust issues today because RNG likes Banjou for once in his miserable life and he rolled high on his d20. Granted, it's pissed as hell and Kaneki's going to have an exciting time when he receives it, but you know what, we tried and so no one should criticize us.]
...We should heal it and then send it off; this doesn't seem to be something we should waste much time on.
Granted, we'll have to work out what we should do with him once he arrives - the inn will be fine for a while, I imagine, and I can afford to put him up for the time being. But long-term...we'll have to see.
[Don't even think about Rize showing up. With their luck, she'll show up at the end of January and then everyone will immediately regret everything.
In the meantime, Banjou looks at the PokeBall warily for a moment before he returns Tsukiyama's snake to her PokeBall and hands her back over. This is going to be such a mess, but you know what, Banjou gave her back so he can't be held accountable.]
I'm not sure I can guess how he'll react to things long-term, but at least for now he won't freeze to death.
[Let's go heal the Abra, why don't we? And then Kaneki can deal with the angry thing that'll surely be out for Banjou's blood.]
[And boy is he glad he didn't see that fight. No offense, Tsukiyama, but he's grateful because everything about that sounds like it was as big of a mess as everything else in Banjou's life.]
[Really...? He actually enjoyed it quite a bit...and he learned something important about himself after it was over, namely that he tastes fantastic.
So overall, it was a pretty good time.
Either way, however, he just shrugs at that.]
Ah, I suppose it can't be helped - either way, you don't have to concern yourself further with it. I'll handle him from here, as far as his relationship with me goes.
[And it's obvious for a moment that that throws him; he was fine until that last part hit, and for a good moment he just stares, as though he's not entirely sure what he should be doing with his face.
But after a moment he smiles, even if his gaze darts away as he does it.]
It's a temporary setback, Banjou-san. We'll be sent back one day, and he'll know how valuable I am to him then.
[His hand flutters a bit then, settling lightly on his chest.]
I'll be fine, no matter what happens; you know I can take care of myself. And I'm not interested in acting to his detriment for obvious reasons.
[The best solution is to do nothing. He knows Tsukiyama doesn't want to hear that. Kaneki doesn't see either of them as a friend, though. He's not going to want much to do with Tsukiyama, and Banjou isn't sure he has the energy nor the ability to explain everything that's happened.]
You're right, of course.
[He eyes the PokeBall again.]
I'll get this healed up, then, and send it off to Kaneki.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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The city's big enough maybe things won't immediately go to shit.]
Alright, sure.
I'll meet you there.
[He, will too. It's better than having Tsukiyama act dramatic and lock himself away the entire day.]
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But even with those priorities in place, he'll be a little late; it's cold as hell out here, and frankly he wasn't dressed for it earlier. Even now, he's still not dressed for it, if the way the cold seems to be getting to him is any indication - either that, or he's just severely worked up. Either way, his hands are trembling a little and so is his breath as it leaves his chest, and his face is slightly flushed with cold and he's trying very, very hard to not mess with his lapels.
He's a bit jumpy, is the point. Maybe more than "a bit".]
Banjou-san - it's good of you to come out here.
[With any luck, this won't dissolve into blood and screaming.]
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If Tsukiyama knows something he doesn't, it'll make things easier. Probably.
He looks cold, but he's slightly less serious than usual, if only because he's currently worried about Kaneki.]
Of course. Do you have something in mind? How to help Kaneki, I mean.
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There's a postal service here - it uses flying Pokémon. They can't transport people, obviously, but that's not a problem; if anything, it ensures that deliveries are carried out much faster than using Fly, since there isn't the added weight of a human rider bearing them down.
They can easily transport other Pokémon, however, assuming they're in their balls.
[He pauses for a moment, his hand shifting from his hair to play with his lapels.]
There are other Pokémon in the grass here that can teleport. If a human orders it, it will bring both itself and the trainer to the last Center it was healed at. So if we catch one and heal it here, then send it to Kaneki-kun via flight...it'll work, I've verified it with some of my contacts. He can be here within a day's time, assuming that everything works out.
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That's... it could work.
[It would keep Kaneki safe. There wouldn't be any need for him to spend days on the road, or be stuck in Cherrygrove until the spring. Of course, the problem is what they're going to have to catch.
He frowns.]
...but one of us will to need to catch an Abra.
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You are going to need to catch an Abra.
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Dammit.]
I'll see what I can do.
[So out in the tall grass he goes. It's not like Banjou still only has two Pokemon. He has experience catching them, but he's also never tried to catch a Pokemon that can teleport itself away.
Wandering around in the grass trying to flush out an Abra in front of Tsukiyama is more embarrassing than anything else. They're not an easy Pokemon to catch if you're not incredibly quick, after all.
...and that would be why the first one he encounters bolts away almost immediately.]
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Do you have anything that can put it to sleep, perhaps?
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No. This would be easier if I had a Psychic-type, but I don't.
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After a moment, he tosses a Pokéball in Banjou's general direction; hopefully Banjou's reflexes aren't crap, because in that case he's going to be dealing with a nine-foot anaconda way before he really wants to be, but either way, he's getting Alessia for the next few minutes.
...She's going to be so mad at him for trading her, even temporarily, but he'll deal with that once they're back inside.]
She's not a Psychic-type, but she does know Wrap; it'll prevent escape. She's also high-leveled enough that she should move well before the Abras you find do.
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Okay. Let's try this again.
[He steps back into the grass again, attracting the attention of either a different Abra, or more likely, the same one teleporting itself back into his field of vision.
Let's hope he doesn't suddenly have a pissed off snake after him in his general direction, because he presses the button to release Alessia.]
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That said, it doesn't take her long to realize that oh, there's a battle situation here, and that sure is an Abra. She is at a type disadvantage but also goddamn level 80, so let's fuckin' go.]
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[And with any luck, the overpowered snake is going to make sure the damn Abra can't teleport away.
...this is really the most ridiculous idea. Maybe Banjou should do more research into status effects since there's obviously a lot he needs to actually work on here.]
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We are trying to get an overpowered snake to suplex a teleporting fox into submission so we can mail it to our amnesiac friend such that he doesn't freeze to death because he was transported to another dimension in the middle of winter and the insane woman that thinks she's his mom didn't even have the common decency to give him matches.
If you can find any part of this entire situation that isn't ridiculous, please let him know.
That said, Alessia is going to be the best snake ever. The best goddamn snake. This Abra is going to throw a shitfit but at least it is...um. Well, it's there. That is more than can be said for most Abra involved in a battle for more than five seconds.]
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...hopefully that doesn't happen, mind. Things are enough of a mess right now.
He pulls out a spare Pokeball to capture the Abra. It can hate him all it wants as long as it gets in the Pokeball and stays there so he can mail it to Kaneki.]
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That said, this Abra is surprisingly not going to prove to be the reason we have trust issues today
because RNG likes Banjou for once in his miserable life and he rolled high on his d20. Granted, it's pissed as hell and Kaneki's going to have an exciting time when he receives it, but you know what, we tried and so no one should criticize us.]...We should heal it and then send it off; this doesn't seem to be something we should waste much time on.
Granted, we'll have to work out what we should do with him once he arrives - the inn will be fine for a while, I imagine, and I can afford to put him up for the time being. But long-term...we'll have to see.
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In the meantime, Banjou looks at the PokeBall warily for a moment before he returns Tsukiyama's snake to her PokeBall and hands her back over. This is going to be such a mess, but you know what, Banjou gave her back so he can't be held accountable.]
I'm not sure I can guess how he'll react to things long-term, but at least for now he won't freeze to death.
[Let's go heal the Abra, why don't we? And then Kaneki can deal with the angry thing that'll surely be out for Banjou's blood.]
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I assume you told him I'm here, as we discussed - do I want to know how he reacted to that?
[He's trying very, very hard to make it sound like he doesn't give a damn regarding the answer; it's not quite working, but it's passable.]
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[.....]
To be fair, he didn't act afraid, but he was incredibly surprised.
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[Of all things...
It doesn't take long for everything to click over, however; he shakes his head, laughing a bit.]
Naturellement - Kirishima-san can't have been the only one who thought I died that night. Is that right?
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[And boy is he glad he didn't see that fight. No offense, Tsukiyama, but he's grateful because everything about that sounds like it was as big of a mess as everything else in Banjou's life.]
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So overall, it was a pretty good time.
Either way, however, he just shrugs at that.]
Ah, I suppose it can't be helped - either way, you don't have to concern yourself further with it. I'll handle him from here, as far as his relationship with me goes.
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That's creepy as hell, even if ghoul standards.]
Good luck.
[There's a brief pause.]
I mean it.
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But after a moment he smiles, even if his gaze darts away as he does it.]
It's a temporary setback, Banjou-san. We'll be sent back one day, and he'll know how valuable I am to him then.
[His hand flutters a bit then, settling lightly on his chest.]
I'll be fine, no matter what happens; you know I can take care of myself. And I'm not interested in acting to his detriment for obvious reasons.
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You're right, of course.
[He eyes the PokeBall again.]
I'll get this healed up, then, and send it off to Kaneki.