irenicly | 002 [video;]

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002 [video;]

[When the feed turns on, Banjou has a guitar in his lap, the camera at an awkward angle that focuses more on the guitar than it does Banjou. He doesn't seem to mind this, idly strumming at it without trying to play a particular song. It's not like he can actually read sheet music, so everything he does is played on the fly anyway.]

I have a question.

[He finally settles on something melodic, if repetitive, before he continues.]

Does anyone here have hobbies they find difficult to continue here? Or something they've found they have more time for here as opposed to where they come from? Take what I'm doing-- I never had as much time as I wanted back home.

It's complicated, but I think I'm beginning to enjoy the freedom this place gives me.

I was wondering if anyone else felt the same way.

((bonus alternative listening.))

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[At least with Banjou, it becomes immediately obvious if Tsukiyama has said something to offend him. Or if anyone has said something to offend him, really. ]

That's right. I think that's fair, don't you? This isn't about anyone but ourselves.

[The Kaneki here would probably be more alarmed than not about them doing things for him.]

Whether I think it's fair or not never has anything to do with it, amore, and I think you know exactly why.

[He's always been the resident outlier of this little group of theirs, after all.

Not that he seems bothered by it any; if he is, he's certainly not going to talk to Banjou about it if such a thing can be avoided.]

I'm not looking for sympathy or reassurance, mind you, since things like that don't interest me any; I just find it strange that we should continue to associate without expecting some sort of payoff.

[...Short of taking friendship into consideration, at which point companionship is its own reward, but that's not an idea he's entertaining simply because it's so insipid.]

[...Banjou tries so hard not to get angry with Tsukiyama. He doesn't disagree, but he looks faintly annoyed just the same.]

Maybe it is strange.

[With the way ghouls are, there should be some sort of payoff. Granted, the situation with Kaneki's group had been complicated to say the least, and things have managed to remain just as complicated even in the place where they're not constantly looking over their shoulders.]

I haven't given this as much thought as I should be.

[That...actually seems to relax him a bit; for all intents and purposes, he looks entirely content to just accept that and move on.]

If it wasn't concerning you before, Banjou-san, don't let it start now; you've told me what I wanted to know already.

[Honestly, he doesn't know what to make of all of this, but as far as Banjou's concerned, they're not enemies. He'd told Tsukiyama, months ago, before he'd arrived in Johto that he didn't trust him, but now... well, to be honest, there is some amount of trust. They live together, even if Banjou's something rather like an awkward roommate.]

Is there anything else you needed to discuss, Tsukiyama-san?

[It's less a matter of ascertaining whether Banjou trusts him and more wondering if he's going to expect something eventually; it's just the way things are, isn't it? Nothing ever comes for free, peace included; everyone wants something in the end. He just likes knowing what the price is in advance.

He's just as paranoid as Banjou is, when all is said and done; it just manifests differently, is all. Less looking over one's shoulder in fear of being stabbed in the back, and more knowing that it's inevitable that he will be and wanting to know if he can negotiate down - maybe stab him in the side instead of between the ribs.]

...Do you have an answer to your own question, regarding hobbies that are difficult to pursue here?

[He probably should have expected that, but he still looks a little surprised by the question.]

I wouldn't call it a hobby, exactly, but sometimes I wonder if I'll still be capable of being Kaneki's "shield."

[Banjou does miss being a ghoul, but that goes without saying.]

...You know, I'm sure some people are preparing for dates tonight. Some are watching movies. Some are playing with their Pokémon. And then here we are, talking about how much we miss being able to possibly get ourselves killed for someone else.

[Again, he doesn't sound troubled by it; if anything he's entertained.]

It almost makes me wonder what the supposedly normal people talk about in their spare time.

[That does make them sound pretty damn unusual. Not that Banjou wasn't already aware of it, of course. Hearing it makes him pause.]

I wouldn't know. They must have problems of their own, it's just not as... unique as our situation.

[Not everyone here comes from a peaceful world. The whole kill-or-be-killed lifestyle is probably not as unique to ghouls as Banjou would have first thought, though he doesn't have actual proof of that.]

Maybe they're complaining about misplacing phones or running late to appointments instead.

[That was a joke.

He tried.]

[...Banjou-san, he's almost proud of you.]

Either that or they're all leading some sort of completely fascinating double life that we never get to see; somehow I doubt anyone here thinks the gentleman playing guitar over the network and talking about his hobbies has things like this to talk about, after all.

...I would have included myself in that as well, but I've been told that no, this is exactly the sort of thing that people would be completely unsurprised to hear me talking about. Not that I can fathom why.

[That's...actually completely facetious; not self-deprecating per se, because that's a little much if you ask him, but he's been informed so many times that he's more than a little obvious that he's willing to be self-aware about it, if nothing else.]

[All things considered, this is a surprisingly normal conversation as far as they go.]

I doubt it. I don't think anyone would believe me even if I said so.

[Which... might work to his advantage. He can have some amount of stealth, here.

Tsukiyama's comment about himself actually gets Banjou to smile.]

Maybe you should think up a story to tell people.

Ah, but it's more fun to let their imaginations do the work! The most I've told anyone here is what I'm studying back home, though I should probably be a little offended at how many people seem to think I'm making that up...

I don't know what these people think my true calling is, but apparently social welfare isn't it.

[Granted, Banjou probably doesn't think it's his true calling either, for entirely different reasons; has Tsukiyama...ever even mentioned his damn major before, because he suspects he hasn't...

...Ah, well, what the hell.]

Either way, it's good to be under the radar, and even moreso here than we were back home; one less thing to worry about, anyway.

Social welfare?

[He... what?

No, really. What? By Banjou's look he's actually not sure if Tsukiyama is kidding or not.]

I'll admit, that's not what I would have guessed.

[Then again, he's not sure what he thought Tsukiyama was studying to begin with.]

It's always possible more people from home will show up here. The easier we blend in, the less of a chance of something going disastrously wrong, depending on who shows up.

[As far as he's concerned, blending in is going to work really well until the day that it rather abruptly doesn't; he's fairly sure that one day someone's going to show up and everything's going to go splendidly to shit and no amount of lying or friend-making is going to fix it, but that's depressing and so he'd really rather not.

...As for his major, however - ]

Yes, Banjou-san, social welfare. I was preparing for my fourth year before everything happened and I picked up our current line of work.

[And then everything sort of kept happening and didn't stop. Needless to say, actually finishing that degree isn't exactly high on his list of priorities right now.]

Surely it's not that surprising.

I see.

[He... doesn't really know what to say about that, truth be told. The Gourmet was studying social welfare.

If that's not ironic, it's at the very least something Banjou didn't expect to hear at all.]

I knew you were a college student. I guess I never did stop to think about what you could be studying.

Oh, I didn't expect you to.

[It's more of an "It's fine" than a truly backhanded remark; it's not like they spent much time talking back then, anyway.

That said, there's still something digging at him a bit about the whole thing; it takes him a moment to pinpoint exactly what it is.]

...I don't dislike humans, you know, and I'm not disgusted by them any. If anything, I'm fond of them, in a way.

[...ghouls really are a messed up species, aren't they? The average ghoul has nothing against humans, it's just a matter of "nothing else is edible" to most. As distasteful as that is, that's... really all there is to it.]

We're both interested in helping people. We just go about it in different ways.

[Even if Tsukiyama is only interested in it in theory, a social welfare major would seem to indicate him caring more than Banjou would have guessed.]

[...yeah about that - ]

I don't recall saying that, either.

Don't get me wrong, I love humans; as a species, they're amusing to watch, and whatever I do to them - whatever we, as ghouls, do to them - is really nothing personal at all. That said, I don't understand how they work as a whole, and that's honestly why I love them.

Ghouls kill those that are useless to them; almost all species do, it's a basic tenet of survival - the weak bow down and the strong devour them. Humans, on the other hand...they seem to lack that cruelty. The idea that social welfare even exists among them just proves that ideally, they would function on kindness rather than cruelty - rather than culling their weak, the stronger individuals support them and bear the burden of their survival.

It's absolutely fascinating, Banjou-san, you have no idea until you've really taken the time to study it for yourself.

[...He probably should find it at least a little awkward to be talking about pretty much everyone he knows and has befriended here like they're something to be observed like that, but the fact is that he clearly doesn't, even if he does sound genuinely interested in the topic.]

[He snorts, but doesn't look surprised. Serves him right for trying to see some good in what Tsukiyama is doing.]

I think I'll pass on that. I don't think like you do.

Deprimente - it seems most people don't; it's a little depressing.

[Speaking of things that probably shouldn't be said quite that cheerfully. Tsukiyama, really...]

I didn't expect that you would, though; it doesn't seem like a line of thinking that would interest you - I don't see you as being the sort who's content to merely watch the things that I'm studying. No, you're more altruistic than I am about it.

As you said, it comes back to helping people for you, n'est-ce pas?

[Depressing isn't the right word for it. He'd say something, something that would merrily send the entire conversation to shit, but he refrains. Admittedly, Banjou isn't sure why he's only tempted and not willing to sabotage everything.]

Don't mistake me for someone who's naive. I know humans and ghouls can't live safely side-by-side.

We can only do it here because we're not ghouls, for however long that lasts.

I'm not claiming you're naive; I'm claiming you're compassionate. Unless you would like to try to argue that there's no difference...?

I just don't understand why that sort of compassion - the sort that drives you, and the sort that drives Ikuma-san - should be spent on a species with none to offer me; we aren't the only ones that hunt in our world, after all. We're just better at it.

[Despite the content, the words don't sound malicious; they're tactless, yes, and in all honesty they're also utterly feckless, but there's a difference between things he's saying because he's trying to drive the conversation straight to hell and things he's saying because they're more or less second nature by now, and at the very least this is a case of the latter rather than the former.]

I don't know why. I'm not sure I could explain it in a way that would satisfy you.

Humans do a good enough job killing each other as it is, but I don't think that means I'm better than the people here. That I'm better than Miss Everett.

...Tell me. How much compassion do you think Miss Everett would have for us, if she knew what we are?

You already know the answer to that question.

It's not like the doves show compassion for ghouls like me.

002 [video;]

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