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IC Contact
It's Banjou. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
[1/23]
[The last ten days or so have been decidedly better since the entire...incident with the fainting couch and the drapes and everything Tsukiyama has decided to be; it's been reasonably quiet, certainly, save for the occasional sound of frustrated piano playing coming from the study, but at the very least the guy hasn't been hiding and once in a while there are entirely too many potato croquettes in the kitchen because clearly Paula Deino was on to something, and everything is slowly returning to as it should be.
...Apparently that's still not going to stop him from texting from across the house once in a while, presumably so the conversation can't inadvertently involve Miss Everett.]
I want to ask you something sometime.
It's not time-sensitive or terribly important, though it does involve Kaneki-kun - not as things are here, but back home.
[The last ten days or so have been decidedly better since the entire...incident with the fainting couch and the drapes and everything Tsukiyama has decided to be; it's been reasonably quiet, certainly, save for the occasional sound of frustrated piano playing coming from the study, but at the very least the guy hasn't been hiding and once in a while there are entirely too many potato croquettes in the kitchen because clearly Paula Deino was on to something, and everything is slowly returning to as it should be.
...Apparently that's still not going to stop him from texting from across the house once in a while, presumably so the conversation can't inadvertently involve Miss Everett.]
I want to ask you something sometime.
It's not time-sensitive or terribly important, though it does involve Kaneki-kun - not as things are here, but back home.
[You know, all things said Banjou can't really complain about the whole situation. He was the one who wanted to deal with it by completely ignoring the situation, and for some reason Tsukiyama actually let him do it. It's not something he's going to get away with for much longer, but he's trying to take the time he's been given to figure out just what the hell his plan of action is going to be.
He still wants to do nothing, but that's not very practical even if it is tempting.
For all of the avoiding he's been doing, the question manages to work as a distraction, even if the conversation is about to go disastrously.]
I have a moment now. What do you need to know?
He still wants to do nothing, but that's not very practical even if it is tempting.
For all of the avoiding he's been doing, the question manages to work as a distraction, even if the conversation is about to go disastrously.]
I have a moment now. What do you need to know?
Why did you decide to follow him, after the incident with Aogiri? Was it guilt over what had happened, or something else entirely?
[He takes his time responding to the question. It's not an easy to one answer.]
Guilt was part of it. I needed to redeem myself in his eyes somehow. I'm not much of a leader and I'll never be a fighter, but I'm sturdy. I didn't mind being the one to take blows for him and I still don't mind being a bodyguard.
Guilt was part of it. I needed to redeem myself in his eyes somehow. I'm not much of a leader and I'll never be a fighter, but I'm sturdy. I didn't mind being the one to take blows for him and I still don't mind being a bodyguard.
[In contrast, Tsukiyama's own response is prompt; not quite immediate, but close.]
But that isn't why you stay now. Is it?
But that isn't why you stay now. Is it?
[...Ah. And here is where the downside to being the group's resident manipulative jerkass comes in, isn't it...]
I'm not trying to find something to use against you, you know, and I'm not particularly interested in trying to make a point, either.
I'm just trying to sort something out, that's all.
I'm not trying to find something to use against you, you know, and I'm not particularly interested in trying to make a point, either.
I'm just trying to sort something out, that's all.
[Well, that.. manages to calm him down some, actually. If this were face to face, Tsukiyama would be able to notice some of the tension easing away, but as it's text...]
No, it's not why I'm staying now. Even if the Kaneki we know was here, I don't know if it would be enough of a reason. There's not a lot of reason to defend anyone here from enemies.
[Not unless Team Rocket starts assassinating people.]
No, it's not why I'm staying now. Even if the Kaneki we know was here, I don't know if it would be enough of a reason. There's not a lot of reason to defend anyone here from enemies.
[Not unless Team Rocket starts assassinating people.]
...You know this is what he would want, don't you?
[He should probably clarify; give him a second.]
Not with regards to how this is affecting us, I mean, simply because I don't think he would want this to result in anything negative for us - that's not in his nature.
But being human, not remembering what Yamori did to him...I think he would want that, in some way or another.
[...]
And he's still the one we know, technically. I think you know that also.
Not as we remember him, but still the same person.
[He should probably clarify; give him a second.]
Not with regards to how this is affecting us, I mean, simply because I don't think he would want this to result in anything negative for us - that's not in his nature.
But being human, not remembering what Yamori did to him...I think he would want that, in some way or another.
[...]
And he's still the one we know, technically. I think you know that also.
Not as we remember him, but still the same person.
I know it's what he would want. This was never his world to begin with.
[And truthfully, Banjou never wanted to involve Kaneki with Aogiri to begin with.
So if Kaneki is allowed to live here peacefully as a human, the way he was meant to live, that's perfectly alright with him. The usually non-violent aspect of this place means Kaneki is perfectly safe as he is.]
He's better off not knowing what happened to him. As long as Yamori, Ayato and the others don't show up here, I don't think we'll have much of a problem in the long run.
[And truthfully, Banjou never wanted to involve Kaneki with Aogiri to begin with.
So if Kaneki is allowed to live here peacefully as a human, the way he was meant to live, that's perfectly alright with him. The usually non-violent aspect of this place means Kaneki is perfectly safe as he is.]
He's better off not knowing what happened to him. As long as Yamori, Ayato and the others don't show up here, I don't think we'll have much of a problem in the long run.
I told him a few things about it when I contacted him recently. No details, of course, and I omitted everything regarding his
[...how...do you even word that...]
mental state following the incident. But I did let him know that he survives it, and that we've been working with him since then. I can't know how much of that he believes, granted, but I did tell him that much.
Of course, omitting that one fairly large complication begs the question of "Why", but I think in this case it's best to not tell him too much. He doesn't need to know about that.
[...how...do you even word that...]
mental state following the incident. But I did let him know that he survives it, and that we've been working with him since then. I can't know how much of that he believes, granted, but I did tell him that much.
Of course, omitting that one fairly large complication begs the question of "Why", but I think in this case it's best to not tell him too much. He doesn't need to know about that.
[The two of them will probably need to come up with some sort of lie they can stick to, won't they? This is going to suck, but Kaneki is so much better off never knowing about Yamori torturing him to the point where... well, he completely loses it to put it politely.]
If he asks me I'll be able to confirm all of that, so that'll give him a reason to believe it's true.
[It's not that Banjou cares about Kaneki trusting Tsukiyama, because he doesn't really, but believing him is important given how closely the three of them ere working.
How he's going to explain that to Kaneki Banjou doesn't exactly know, other than maybe being vague.]
He hasn't come to me yet, but I'll be surprised if he doesn't.
If he asks me I'll be able to confirm all of that, so that'll give him a reason to believe it's true.
[It's not that Banjou cares about Kaneki trusting Tsukiyama, because he doesn't really, but believing him is important given how closely the three of them ere working.
How he's going to explain that to Kaneki Banjou doesn't exactly know, other than maybe being vague.]
He hasn't come to me yet, but I'll be surprised if he doesn't.
Hopefully so. I didn't try to insist one way or another; he'd likely find it suspicious if I did too much of that in either direction.
[He pauses for a moment before continuing.]
How have you been lately? With regards to everything.
[...There is no way to ask that without it sounding like either he's taking half a stab at empathy or he was replaced by a pod person, is there, and clearly we can't have any of that.]
I know that I haven't spoken to you or Miss Everett very often.
[...#NailedIt]
[He pauses for a moment before continuing.]
How have you been lately? With regards to everything.
[...There is no way to ask that without it sounding like either he's taking half a stab at empathy or he was replaced by a pod person, is there, and clearly we can't have any of that.]
I know that I haven't spoken to you or Miss Everett very often.
[...#NailedIt]
[And that question throws him because what so he appreciates the follow up. Banjou will assume Tsukiyama's making conversation for his own sanity.]
I can't complain.
[Being able to live without killing people is what he wants, after all.]
Besides figuring out the situation with Kaneki, things aren't so bad here. It's hard to get used to, but I'm doing fine.
I can't complain.
[Being able to live without killing people is what he wants, after all.]
Besides figuring out the situation with Kaneki, things aren't so bad here. It's hard to get used to, but I'm doing fine.
[...oh, come on. He doesn't have to be nice to you at all, granted, but there's no need to be surprised by the attempt.]
Good to know. I wouldn't want any further complications added to this entire thing.
[...]
As it stands, everything will be fine. It's just a matter of seeing if Kaneki-kun comes to us.
I still feel as though there's something else we should be doing, but I have no idea what; I don't like the idea of leaving it be for now, but there's not much else to be done, I think.
Good to know. I wouldn't want any further complications added to this entire thing.
[...]
As it stands, everything will be fine. It's just a matter of seeing if Kaneki-kun comes to us.
I still feel as though there's something else we should be doing, but I have no idea what; I don't like the idea of leaving it be for now, but there's not much else to be done, I think.
[At least he's weirded out in a way that Tsukiyama won't notice, and it passes quickly enough anyway.]
I'm sure he'll come to us if we give him enough time.
[He doesn't expect Kaneki to be the leader of their group again, and Banjou and Tsukiyama are doing fine with whatever this relationship of theirs is called without having a leader.]
I'm sure he'll come to us if we give him enough time.
[He doesn't expect Kaneki to be the leader of their group again, and Banjou and Tsukiyama are doing fine with whatever this relationship of theirs is called without having a leader.]
I'm not so sure, Banjou-san.
[He isn't sure if he should leave it there or not; there are other things to say about this entire situation, to be sure, but there's not really a way to say them without feeling as though he's saying entirely too much.
He'll just send that for now, then; the rest is inconsequential.]
[He isn't sure if he should leave it there or not; there are other things to say about this entire situation, to be sure, but there's not really a way to say them without feeling as though he's saying entirely too much.
He'll just send that for now, then; the rest is inconsequential.]
[Banjou wants nothing more than to ignore the situation, but that's not entirely fair to Tsukiyama, is it? But he also doesn't even have a clue what to do in a situation like this.]
He doesn't have much of a reason to seek either of us out, does he? We're not Anteiku; he has no reason to associate with us.
I don't know how he'd take us coming to him, though.
He doesn't have much of a reason to seek either of us out, does he? We're not Anteiku; he has no reason to associate with us.
I don't know how he'd take us coming to him, though.
[God, look at us go, trying to be all mindful of each other's feelings and shit.]
...It's purely sentimental on our part, isn't it? Wanting him to associate with us at all, I mean.
That's what I was trying to work out earlier - whether there's a reason that isn't sentimentality. There isn't one, is there?
...It's purely sentimental on our part, isn't it? Wanting him to associate with us at all, I mean.
That's what I was trying to work out earlier - whether there's a reason that isn't sentimentality. There isn't one, is there?
[Seeing as his earlier conversation with Tsukiyama didn't go as bad as he was bracing himself for, it's Banjou's turn to get a message from Kaneki a few hours later that same day. He's taken the time to get a little fresh air first since it's actually only slightly below freezing today, which is better than he's seen in a while.]
Can I talk to you for a bit, Banjou-san? Whenever you get the chance, anyway.
[Also, hi, this is...actually the first time he's talked to you since he first got here nearly three weeks ago.]
Can I talk to you for a bit, Banjou-san? Whenever you get the chance, anyway.
[Also, hi, this is...actually the first time he's talked to you since he first got here nearly three weeks ago.]
[One day, this is going to be incredibly embarrassing...]
I
[And it dawns on him. There really isn't. What it comes down to, what it really comes down to, is the simple fact that Kaneki is his friend.]
No, there isn't. There's no practical reason, I know that.
I
[And it dawns on him. There really isn't. What it comes down to, what it really comes down to, is the simple fact that Kaneki is his friend.]
No, there isn't. There's no practical reason, I know that.
[No matter how long Tsukiyama spends in this world, the fact remains that old habits die hard. It occurs to him exactly how easy it would be to hurt him with that - to bear it in mind and use it against him later, or to say something nasty now and be done with it - and he wonders if that last bit is there because Banjou knows it as well; however, while the awareness may be there, the intent is not, and because old habits die hard he has to pause for a while to actually find words that aren't going to be derisive or hateful because now really isn't the time, even if he really wants to be hateful in Banjou's direction right now.
Why couldn't there be a reason that doesn't come down to that...]
But that's acceptable...?
[He sends it before he can second-guess it; it...burns a bit, and he doesn't know where the rest comes from when he continues, but you know what, he's tired of dealing with all of it and if he's going to be blunt he's tired of being upset, and maybe if he gets some of this out of his head it'll be gone for good and he can get on with his damn life.]
I know you're probably just going to shout at me for it, but if I could go back to looking out for myself and no one else at this point, I would. I would much prefer not caring about what happens to any of you as opposed to feeling like this all the time - and even when I do decide that maybe I can give a damn about anyone it's not right, or enough, or done in a way that everyone approves of and so naturally that means everything about it is wrong, and apparently I would be far better off just not bothering in the first place.
But it's arrogant to do that, and it's unacceptable, while for some reason it's acceptable to want to befriend someone who has every right to not want that in return? Or at the very least it's understandable, though I don't see how or why that's any less arrogant when it's still blatantly deciding that what I want is more important than what anyone else wants. Is it because we can pretend it's for the benefit of another person, or
[He makes himself stop there without finishing it; he isn't making much sense and he doesn't even know what he's arguing anymore - he's not sure if there's a point at all, or if he's just lashing out for the sake of it, because it gives him a direction to be angry in and someone to be angry with.
It takes him a moment.]
We did everything correctly, didn't we? We did everything he would have wanted us to. I don't know what else this place wanted from us in order to have things work out.
[That isn't...quite it either.]
...I miss him so much.
[...Ah.]
Why couldn't there be a reason that doesn't come down to that...]
But that's acceptable...?
[He sends it before he can second-guess it; it...burns a bit, and he doesn't know where the rest comes from when he continues, but you know what, he's tired of dealing with all of it and if he's going to be blunt he's tired of being upset, and maybe if he gets some of this out of his head it'll be gone for good and he can get on with his damn life.]
I know you're probably just going to shout at me for it, but if I could go back to looking out for myself and no one else at this point, I would. I would much prefer not caring about what happens to any of you as opposed to feeling like this all the time - and even when I do decide that maybe I can give a damn about anyone it's not right, or enough, or done in a way that everyone approves of and so naturally that means everything about it is wrong, and apparently I would be far better off just not bothering in the first place.
But it's arrogant to do that, and it's unacceptable, while for some reason it's acceptable to want to befriend someone who has every right to not want that in return? Or at the very least it's understandable, though I don't see how or why that's any less arrogant when it's still blatantly deciding that what I want is more important than what anyone else wants. Is it because we can pretend it's for the benefit of another person, or
[He makes himself stop there without finishing it; he isn't making much sense and he doesn't even know what he's arguing anymore - he's not sure if there's a point at all, or if he's just lashing out for the sake of it, because it gives him a direction to be angry in and someone to be angry with.
It takes him a moment.]
We did everything correctly, didn't we? We did everything he would have wanted us to. I don't know what else this place wanted from us in order to have things work out.
[That isn't...quite it either.]
...I miss him so much.
[...Ah.]
[Oh, it's not big deal. Banjou's been trying to... deal with this in his own way, and he still has no idea how he's going to handle the whole situation. It doesn't take him very long to respond even so. He's used to being on call, even if the group never had the luxury of text messaging in Tokyo.]
Of course, Kaneki.
I'm here.
Of course, Kaneki.
I'm here.
[It's a good thing texting is a thing, here. It's been incredibly useful for Kaneki so far, that's for sure.]
I wanted to let you know that I'm doing fine, first of all. I guess I should have said something sooner...but the time got away from me.
[He spent every moment of it trying to get his own thoughts together to just...process everything, so there's that.]
I wanted to let you know that I'm doing fine, first of all. I guess I should have said something sooner...but the time got away from me.
[He spent every moment of it trying to get his own thoughts together to just...process everything, so there's that.]
[He doesn't respond right away, letting Tsukiyama get everything off his chest. Tsukiyama will never entirely be one of those people he trusts, and that's perfectly fine with Banjou. A couple of paranoid ghouls pretending to be human are going to have a rough time here for a long time, because this isn't going to become completely normal to them.]
We did everything we could do.
[Banjou doesn't even know if comforting Tsukiyama is the right thing to do, so he isn't going to put too much effort into it because that'll just open the floodgates to ridicule further down the line.
...but at the same time...]
I miss him too.
We did everything we could do.
[Banjou doesn't even know if comforting Tsukiyama is the right thing to do, so he isn't going to put too much effort into it because that'll just open the floodgates to ridicule further down the line.
...but at the same time...]
I miss him too.
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